U.S. educators are reeling from the low math and science test scores
of American students. We bombed in history, as well. Over 90 percent
of high school students think "BC" means "Before Cable". -- Thanks
to GiGi
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Well, it finally happened. Renae got so tired of the same old rut
she simply couldn't stand it anymore so I found myself bound up in
my halter and we took off. Simply ran away from home. Left it all
behind.
The first thing we considered was where to go. Several years ago
when Renae was bearing the responsibility of being a dad, one of the
things she and E.J. had enjoyed was spelunking. I won't bore you with
the details of how that got started but, during his adolescence, they
clocked many hours together underground. Since she was in such a
murky mood (and believe me, it was a murky mood!), the dankness of a
cave beckoned. So, early one morning we left, just the two of us,
heading northwest to the Arkansas mountains.
After driving about 5-5 1/2 hours, we were nearing Ponca. Renae knew
of an area nearby that was state owned and headed for the park. She
parked and locked the car and then we headed into the woods in the
opposite direction of any of the trails. She wanted seclusion and
being around people just wasn't settling on the whiskers. I actually
found it surprising that she even wanted me along but eventually she
admitted it was only because she wanted my protection. Hey, I am a
cat you know.
We walked until late afternoon having passed up several promising
holes in the ground. She always had some lame excuse. I thought
the caves were fine but she kept insisting she was too big to squeeze
into them. On a couple occasions she found caves she liked but I dug
my paws into the ground. The caves were too close to water. Not only
do I hate water, it simply isn't safe to be in a cave that has water
should it start to rain. Perseverance won out and as sunset was
approaching we found a hole in the side of a mountain that satisfied
both of us.
Getting up on that ledge where the cave was located was easy for me,
but hauling Renae up over that ledge just about did me in. I thought
I was there for protection, not as a hoist! I needed to paws and
catch my breath but she just picked me up and kept going, making
some remarks about dark approaching and not being able to see. You
people do have your restrictions.
We stopped for a rest and dinner before entering the cave. By now I
was so hungry even the thought of catching something was beginning
to be appealing, and I was so happy when she pulled my cereal out
of her backpack!
The cave was, as expected, dark. She had a flashlight as big as a
whiskey dog and another light on her helmet. I, on the other hand,
am a cat and am't limited to such trivialities as dark. I walked on
into the grotto with her, but she was acting strange. A lot of the
time she would be down on the muddy floor crawling on her hands and
knees or even laying flat on her stomach and inching forward oh, so
slowly. I, of course, was anxious to press forward, but she held me
back with that leash.
It's amazing how fast time moves when you're underground. By her
watch it was nearly midnight when she finally said we could stop.
We found a relatively dry rock and she lay down on it. Because I was
still on the leash I was limited in my bedding choices so I crawled
up on her and settled down on her chest facing her feet. I was there
to protect her after all, and if something came up from that direction
I wanted to know. We both fell asleep.
I don't know how long I slept before I heard it. Something was
making a snuffling noise and was coming our direction. I tried
waking Renae but she only pushed me away. Luckily though, in pushing
me away she let go my leash. I went slinking off in the direction
the noise was coming from and found a frightening sight! There was
something big, and dark, and hairy and it was heading for my human!
(What was she thinking in expecting me to protect her? I'm only a
cat, you know!)
I ran back and tried desperately to wake Renae but she simply wouldn't
have it. My only other option was to attack that beast and I did! I
went into what Renae calls "play mode," which is actually my exercises
to keep fit for the big hunt, and ran circles around that animal.
I scratched him here and there and everywhere. It didn't help. I
tried biting him on the throat but that didn't do anything either.
He was simply too hairy. And, wearing that halter only hampered me.
If he'd had any smarts about him he would have known to grab my leash
and there'd have been nothing I could have done.
With all the caterwauling I was doing and all his snorting, Renae
finally woke up but she wasn't any help. She went tharn! All she
would do was sit there and scream at me, "Silly!"
So, I was on my own. Quickly I tried to think of something to do
and a thought struck me. I remembered a story I had read while
attending college and thought it would be worth a try. At the next
opportunity, I latched onto that beast's big toe and bit at hard as
I could. The beast roared in pain and fell over dead. Finally it
was all over.
I returned to Renae to pet and console her. We returned home
immediately and despite her delight over my having killed bruen,
she was too distraught to write the newsletter this time so I
offered to do it for her. She agreed only as long as I end this
story with two words: April Fool!
(Note: Tharn is a word I read somewhere. I believe it was a made-up
word used in Watership Downs to describe how the rabbits would freeze
in fear whenever they were in the road at night and would see the
traffic lights coming toward them.)
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New to Renae's Room this time: Three new jokes and a story in the
heartwarming section. Also in the links section the following has
been added:
K-4
Science/Oceanography 1
5-8
General Science 1
Science/Geology 1
Science/Oceanography 3
9-12
Physical Education 47
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And finally, here's a listing of the most recent font additions:
Hollow:
8 Bit Limit Outline, Ataxia Outline, Chintzy CPU Chadow, Dimitri Swank
Fun/Kitchen:
Cheese and Mouse, LMS Gingerbread Jam
Fun/Country Corner:
Patchwork Letters, Quilted Indian, Stitch n Bitch, Bear Box,
LMS Gingerbread Jam
Silly's Picks/Toys:
Cheese & Mouse, Cheesy Mouse, Mouse Cup
Display:
Ataxia, Chintzy CPU and Shadow
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That should wrap it up for this time. Have a purrfectly marvelous
two weeks.
BTW: I know, I've got mail sitting in my inbox needing to
be answered. Soon as Renae's out for a bit and I get to
sneak the use of her computer I'll work on it. Till then,
if you or your student's have any questions of any kind or
any catequette suggestions, be sure to write.